


Days

by vancreep



Category: DRAMAtical Murder
Genre: Character Death, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-06
Updated: 2014-05-06
Packaged: 2018-01-23 20:03:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1577768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vancreep/pseuds/vancreep
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's been a year. Happy anniversary. Sort of.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Days

Day 3

I don't think I've ever been to a funeral before. You were my first everything. This wasn't what I meant.

Day 7

I'm fucking stupid. I came home and went to the kitchen because normally you'd be in there cooking, Ren looking up recipes and something would probably get burned.

I put some popcorn in the microwave and kept it in there until the fire alarm went off.

Day 10

Fuck you. You pushed your way into my life and now you're gone.

I let you in. Fuck you.

Day 25

Well, there's a hole in the bedroom wall now, on the side you used to sleep on. You preferred the left side for some unknown reason and for some unknown reason I still give you enough space and enough blanket in case you come back even though I visited you just that morning.

There's too much dirt separating us.

Day 41

I can't look at Ren. I can't look at him when he sleeps because then I just think of you and how you would sit down with him on your lap and you'd smile and pet his fur.

Day 49

It rained today so I stopped by. I buried you in the best suit I could find. Don't get it dirty in the mud.

Day 64

I'm sorry.

Day 68

I'm scared.

Day 91

I don't come home anymore.

Day 148

I can't feel anything.

Day 163

The last time I felt like this, I slammed my knuckles into the door until I heard my bones cracking and a doctor asked if it hurt.

Day 201

I wouldn't mind being buried next to you.

Day 215

I should've done more for you. You were my everything and I need you now more than ever.

Day 226

I quit.

Day 368

It's been a year and I don't feel alive anymore. I don't feel anymore. I got sliced and I didn't even notice it until I saw drops of blood on my desk.

I can't feel anything without you and I want you back and I know it's selfish but I need you here.

You don't belong in the ground, you belong at home with me and I'll treat you like you're a king. I'll buy a big house for us and we'll raise kids together.

I was thinking Lacey if we adopt a girl. Maybe Bella? We'll spoil her. We'll give her all the dresses she wants and every toy on the shelf. She'll call you daddy and I'll be papa and we'll build a swing in the yard. We'll take turns pushing her until she feels she can touch the sky.

Thank you for teaching me how to live.

I still love you and I don't think I'll ever stop.

It hurts.


End file.
